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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Iife not only can change, but is supposed to change.

This is to a point a whine. I don't expect anything to be done, or for that matter any sympathy. Please avoid adding to the misery if thats all you can do?

I have (and a family history of) several learning disabilities. Reciently my doc started me on Ritilin and it is having some effect, so even I have to admit to the ADD. I have been unemployed for a while between the economy and the lack of confidence that comes from years of ... problems. I am now in the Department of Rehab, on proper meds, and doing everything I can to make it.

That isn't a very big problem for my main squeeze, but the third one in the relationship. (somewhere between roommates and playmates) (a gay little household, yes) has a problem.

Now I know, between ADD and Asperger, I am not an easy person to deal with. When the other one (known as C for the rest of this whine) had one of his blow ups on a day when I am going to pick up anti-depressants before I take a blade to my ankles in the bathtub, I asked the pharmacy about one of the meds he takes. "seroquel" is an anti-psychotic.Well, I know about not liking psyche meds so I have been quite forgiving.

However we had a recient "discussion" where I called him on not taking his anti-psychotic.He claimed he had been lying the whole time about the seroquel. Now if he is just lying about the lying it is heinous enough. If it was truly the "trap" as he called it, I am even MORE angry. His duplicity takes on whole new levels if he will use such tactics to get rid of me.

I love "A". I have loved him long before "C" ever entered into the scene. I know what evil porcupine quills that "C" is capable of shooting and have always feared for "A"'s sake. However I can not be his pin-cushion any more. I have already resolved to leave my love of 9+ years because I can't tollerate his pet-psycho any more.

I have no doubt that A loves C. I have no doubt that A loves me. A is caught in the middle. This will cause those poison quills to focus on A next, but he is an adult and there is nothing much I can do to save him. I will try to be there to pick up after he sees what a "person" that C is.Anyway, I will be semi-homeless for a few months... Perfect time to start a blog of the experience (or so my ISP & Friend suggested)

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